This is Part 2 in a short series of posts about some anonymous limericks Lloyd Douglas wrote for the Michigan Daily, the student paper at the University of Michigan, in the fall of 1919. These were meant as advice to incoming freshmen. “The Newcomer” tells about himself and an “Old Timer” (an upperclassman) offers advice. This one was printed sometime in October 1919 and it was titled, “Concerning Etiquette”:
The Newcomer Says:
I love this free Democracy
Where all of us are brothers;
But where I eat on Duroc Street
They also board some others.
My Uncle! You should see this crew –
Their arms up on the table –
Our food supplies they vocalize
As loudly as they’re able.
And when the feat is quite complete
And they have mopped the platter,
They find a stick and gouge and pick
Where anything’s the matter.
Now I was taught that men of thought
Are persons of good breeding;
Please tell me why this rule’s awry
When college men are feeding.
The Old Timer Replies:
My cultured friend, you need not mend
The maxim you have quoted;
Most men of thought, as you were taught,
Are for good manners noted.
But don’t you know someday you’ll go
From out these halls of knowledge?
All sorts you’ll meet – and with them eat
(For all you’re trained in college).
We could not bear to send you there
Unused to sights revolting;
So, for your good, you take your food
Where some are skilled at bolting.
And afterwhile you’ll sometimes smile
To see their feats courageous;
Be careful, though; we’d have you know
The habit is contagious.
[I will continue sharing these limericks over the next two posts.]
The Lloyd C Douglas Page 